I really thought I was prepared for these things. I almost expected it from some of my family members, but never my BFF. This girl has been an amazing friend to me. The moment we met we instantly bonded. We were both morbidly obese and had been that way most our lives. Neither one if us had many friends, and neither had children. We texted or talked everyday, almost all day. We saw each other at least once a week. Our husbands were great friends too. But that all seemed to change. When I first mentioned I was interested in having WLS. She started to pull away. Just a little at first. But as surgery grew closer she drifted further and further away. I tried everything I could to re assure her. Her family had always abounded her until they needed something. Well I'm not like that. I am fighting tooth and nail to hold onto our friendship, but I'm worried its ending.
A couple days before surgery I was very emotional. I really needed someone to talk to. I knew I could always talk to my hubby, but sometimes you just need an outside friend to vent and talk to. My BFF who I love dearly and needed was not there for me. She refused to answer my calls and texts. I felt so alone. I questioned if I had done something wrong to hurt her. I even asked her. Nothing. Finally I gave up. I talked to my sweet sister in law instead. I'm lucky to have great in laws who are more like friends. I guess my absence alerted my friend I was upset. She finally after days of not talking to me sent me a text. I of course responded and tried to play it off as a misunderstanding. She even told me she was sorry. She thought that when I would get all skinny I would find better friends than her and forget her. I told her not a chance in hell and she couldn't get rid of me if she tried. I knew she needed to be re assured. I tried to put myself in her shoes. How would I feel if my friend was doing to huge change and I wasn't. And honestly I would probably feel the same way. My friend is not comfortable with the idea of having WLS herself, which I completely respect. It isn't for everyone. It is a lot of work and it's a permanent change for your entire life. Some people can loose massive amounts if weight without surgery. They have amazing will power and strength. But others, like myself have tried to do it without surgical help and time and time again have failed. I am morbidly obese. The chances of dying from weight complications, completely out weighed the risks of surgery in my own opinion.
So surgery day came. She did text to make sure I was ok. I had several friends visit me in the hospital, some I had only met on Facebook. But my BFF did not show up. I was released and have now been home for a little over a week and still no sight of her. The texts have stopped unless I send something first, but even they have now stopped. My heart dropped earlier tonight when I saw a post she made on Facebook. It said that she hated she didn't have any friends to talk too. My hearts aches. I've cried and cried.
I know in the depths of my heart though, I've done everything I could. I made the decision to have WLS for me. I knew and felt in my soul I had to do something to really change. This surgery is the best decision I could have made with all of my health problems. I knew if I was really serious it was now or never. My window of having a healthy pregnancy was closing. I would have never been able to live with myself if I passed my opportunity. I realize this may have been what caused her to pull away, but I can go on knowing I tried to hold onto her as long as I could. I and anyone who has had this surgery needs to surround themselves with positive encouraging people. Grieve for your losses but realize too, you have come so far, you deserve to be happy, and you are beautiful inside and out. Do the best you can. In the end they are the ones with the problem. You must look forward and don't let them hold you back. Follow your dreams and it will be well worth it.
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